The Shared Life
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” (Psalm 133:1).
Recently, I have been reflecting upon what it means for us to live together as the people of God. As we head through the holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s, when we often gather with family and friends and other Christians, we experience the different strains and stresses of sharing life together. The effect of sin on families is not just observed in the pages of Scripture with familiar names like Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and His Brothers. Instead, as we look at our own relationships, we must admit that sin has not only been lurking at the door (Gen. 4:7), but too often has reared its ugly head in our lives. Whether it is something said or left unsaid, something done or left undone, we all too soon find ourselves charting a course through tumultuous waters. Sure, we may act like everything’s okay. We may play nice and put a smile on our face…but…too often we are trying to walk a fine line between just “making it through the holidays” and confronting the situation that we just don’t discuss or dealing with the baggage that’s still in the way or even simply taking the time to connect on a deeper level. If we are honest with ourselves, we can see the truth that “We hurt most who we love the most” (Andy Stanley, Enemies of the Heart, Ch 2). Jesus, however, has come to heal the hurts, break down the walls, and resolve the conflicts within this world. Jesus desires that we not simply tiptoe around others, but that we seek fulfilling and meaningful relationships that include openness, honesty, and dare I say it, vulnerability with others. So, why then do we have such a hard time…
…confessing our sins?
…forgiving others?
…forgiving ourselves?
…setting aside the expectations and the baggage and even the cell phones to engage one another?
I think that it is so hard because we are reluctant to be the one who takes the first step. When I think of my relationship with God, I cannot help but be thankful that he did not wait for me to take the first step. Isn’t that the beauty of Christmas? We didn’t have to go to Him, for He first came to us! In Jesus Christ, the Father showed that His love for us was greater than any gulf of sin, any cavern of fear, or any gulley of guilt. Jesus bridged the gap between God and man, so that He could create a family connected not by blood, but by the Spirit of our God. As we celebrate that God has established that kind of relationship with us, may we also celebrate the opportunity to establish those kinds of relationships of grace with one another. I invite you this year to not only give others presents but give them your presence. Give them not simply stuff, but something much more expensive—your time. And so I leave you with two challenging reflections that I have culled from my recent reading and reflection on this topic. Where is God calling you to be open, honest, and even vulnerable with others? May He guide you in the coming year by His grace.
A Time of Confession – “Put yourself on the receiving end of [confession]: Who’s apology do you most desire, but least expect? Who is it that seems completely insensitive to the trouble or hurt they’ve caused you? Imagine how you would feel if you got a surprise visit from that person. How would you feel if that person walked in, sat down, and took full responsibility for what he or she had done…My guess is that you would never be the same…That’s the power of confession. Not only does it have the potential to free you from your guilt, but it may also be the path to forgiveness for those you’ve hurt…” (Andy Stanley, Enemies of the Heart, Ch 11). So, whose life could be changed by your confession and apology?
A Gratitude Visit – “Close your eyes. Call up the face of someone still alive who years ago did something or said something that changed your life for the better—someone who you never properly thanked, someone you could meet face to face next week. Got a face? Your task is to write a letter of gratitude to this individual and to deliver it in person…Be specific about what he or she did for you and how it affected your life. Let him/her know what you are doing now and how you often remember what he/she did.” (Chip & Dan Heath, The Power of Moments, Ch. 7).
God’s Peace, Pastor Kurt Ebert